Tuesday, February 18, 2014

GUEST POST: When Hubby Leaves His Socks on the Floor

By Becky Kopitzke
I am excited to share blog space today with a fellow mommy blogger, Becky Kopitzke.  Ever since I started blogging, she has been someone whom I admired for her humor, conversational tenor, and genuine heart for God.  I am honored that she not only offered this post, but will be available today to respond to any of your comments on my blog or on its Facebook page.  Thank you, Becky!  Here is is:
I discovered a remedy for all my husband’s annoying habits.
I stop thinking about them.
Like when he yanks open the microwave door two seconds before the timer beeps. Then later when I glace at the clock expecting to see something reasonable like 7:48, it flashes :02! :02! :02!—which tells me nothing except that there’s a man in the house who wants to vex me.
Or when he walks three paces ahead of me in the grocery store, as if we’re not involved in reading cereal labels and price-matching peanut butter together. Then once my arms are piled with jars and boxes, Mr. Speed Shopper is already in the next aisle—with the cart.
And of course there’s his classic habit of leaving dirty socks on our bedroom floor instead of tossing them down the laundry chute. So laundry day comes and goes and he asks, “Did you wash my socks?” to which I raise my eyebrows and reply, “What socks?” And then we’re in a laundry standoff because he knows what I’m talking about.
This stuff drives me nuts. I could spend all day stewing over it.
But I don’t.
“. . . Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things,” (Philippians 4:8).
A few years ago, one of my dear mentor moms taught me a trick. I call it the “quick switch.” Whenever her husband did something to irritate her, she immediately switched her complaint to an affirming thought. Yes, he left his ice cream bowl in the sink again, but. . .
He is loyal. 
He’s a good provider. 
He loves his kids.
My mentor spent a season of her marriage praying that the Holy Spirit would make this quick-switch method second nature. That any time a negative thought about her husband popped into her head, God would immediately replace it with a list of positives. And it worked—for both of us.
Now when I’m tempted to grumble over those bedside socks, I grin.
Because my husband is faithful.
He is honest.
He’s a hero to our kids.
And when he speeds ahead of me in the freezer section, I shrug.
My husband loves me deeply.
He makes me laugh.
He knows how to replace a headlight.
And when I check the microwave clock at bedtime and catch that flashing :02!, I just punch the CLEAR button and focus on what matters.
My husband cooks.
He works hard to make our life comfortable.
He is a gift to our family from God.
So I will not allow little annoyances to erode our relationship and overshadow what matters most. If my husband were gone tomorrow, heaven forbid, I’d miss those socks in the corner. I know I would.
Besides, let’s be real—I irk my husband, too. Like when I say I’ll be ready in 15 minutes, but really that means 45 because I change outfits three times and restock my purse with fruit snacks and baby wipes.
Or when I leave the refrigerator door open and the bathroom light on. Apparently this is quite distressing to an energy conservationist—{sorry, honey}.
Or those nights when I stay up late writing blog posts, then tiptoe into a dark bedroom, knock over a lamp and wake my hubby from a sound sleep. (Yes, this has happened more than once.) So he heaves a sigh and lies awake, unable to fall asleep again for two hours—which, in my estimation, is a good chunk of quality time to fixate on how fabulous I am despite my flaws.
So you see? Marriage is the place where two imperfect people learn to love each other the way Jesus loves us—unconditionally, soaked in forgiveness, and full of crazy grace. Which means those socks on the floor aren’t really a bother.
They’re a blessing.
Do you have a comment for Becky?  Leave it here!
If you would like to read another one of my favorite posts of hers on marriage, check out He Called Me Beautiful, So I Cleaned the Basement on her blog.

{Photo by Harlequeen at Flickr}


  1. I love the idea of the quick switch for the little nagging habits that can chip away at our piece of mind and ultimately serve to distract us from the blessings we have at hand - like the relationships that fuel and support us. Thank you for your insight here, Becky, and for sharing!

  2. Funny, the more I practice the quick switch, the more natural it becomes, so that positive thoughts become my default rather than crabbiness. Now that is the power of God's Word in action!

  3. I love reenergizing our focus as phillipians 4:8 suggests. I also love that verse paired with the two previous verses. Thank you Becky for your Godly wisdom made practical!

  4. The Bible really is an everyday guide if we choose to apply it, don't you agree? Thanks so much for reading!


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