8 Key Things to Tell Teens Who Are Going into High School

I have another son who is off to high school next year! In honor of that milestone, I am sharing an article I wrote for Crosswalk previously. Honestly, these pointers are good for any teen, no matter the milestone! 

Rising high schoolers are one step closer to the self-discovery and independence of adulthood. Statistics have linked a high school degree with a greater chance at job attainment, homeownership, a higher salary, and even personal and marital longevity. Regardless, they’re making decisions that will shape the rest of their life. As a pastor, TV host, and author, I have compiled eight essential markers from life experience to help shape their journey into a spectacular one. Whether you are a parent, youth worker, mentor, or friend, I hope these markers will serve as meaningful conversation starters.

1. Pay attention to longing.

I wrote a book on life purpose following a life juncture of my own. Longing is a distinct feeling that something is missing. Our Creator has hardwired each of us for a purpose. When we ignore it, our internal circuit often feels frayed. Unhappiness and depression can be signals that we are overlooking something important about ourselves, perhaps to please someone else. Ask them: Is there something that they feel God has called them to do? Does it unexpectedly keep coming to their mind? Encourage them to make time for introspection and honest conversations with the Author of their heart.

2. Start living your purpose now.

God designed each of us to live in such a way that obedience will make our hearts sing. There is no one-size-fits-all model as to what that obedience will look like. This is a time in their life to experiment with different possibilities as they discern their heart call. A researcher out of Stanford University believes that the prevalent challenge of youth today isn’t stress; it’s meaninglessness. When we are doing something that gives our life meaning, a certain amount of stress can be instructive as we press toward our goal. Think of someone who is nervous but called to onstage performance; they will become more fluent and comfortable with practice. The opposite is true when we’re busy with things that we do not find meaning in. An essential element to coming-of-age is having the opportunity to perform activities that are life-giving and life-affirming for that person. Offer age-appropriate channels for them to develop their gifts.

3. Don’t shy away from healthy risk.

The risk that’s linked to immediate gratification is often unhealthy and rather common. Healthy risk, however, frequently requires a short-term sacrifice for a long-term goal. Healthy risk is a calculated response to God’s call after introspection that’s rooted in faith, not fear. It is an invitation for adventure from the hand of God, who can be trusted. Even if the outcome looks different than what we imagined, it will still thrust us forward toward our purpose. We worship a God who works all things for our good (Romans 8:28). Can you think of a story of how God used risk in your life to propel you forward? Share it with them—start planting seeds. Real-life examples can inspire them to leave their comfort zone and respond to faith’s call.

4. Choose faith.

After graduating from college, I moved out of the Midwest for a job in New York City. Shortly afterward, 9/11 happened. I found myself surrounded by devastation and clung to my faith. I discovered that faith is like the roots of a tree; the deeper the roots, the firmer the foundation. My faith provided me with hope, a refuge, and an invitation to agency that I couldn’t find anywhere else. God used that tragedy to spur me to seminary, just as God will use events in their life to shape their trajectory too. Remind them to always choose faith, not fear.

5. The people you choose to surround yourself with matter.

I witnessed the healing power of community in the wake of 9/11, and I’ve learned that whom we surround ourselves with daily matters too. Consider two questions. First, are they surrounding themselves with people who cause them to rise higher, or who cause them to compromise? Scripture says, “As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another” (Proverbs 27:17). The company we keep should prompt us to become better people, not worse. Second, are they investing in people who unequivocally have their back? If not, encourage them to find that person or people. Scripture says, “One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother” (Proverbs 18:24). We’re made to need community—that’s not a weakness, but a strength. Support them to choose wisely.

To Read Points 6–8, Click Here