When my publisher asked me to write a marriage article on this topic, I accepted—I wanted to help. There have been a lot of anonymous posts in my local Facebook group about divorce. The pace of life with children, especially these days, does not make marriage easy. But good marriages, like faith, are worth fighting for. My prayer is that you use this summer to bless your marriage!
As a married woman of almost twenty-three years (That's me and my husband above!), I can say that a successful marriage is an active choice, not a passive one. Jesus tells us what happens when we wed: A husband and wife become one flesh. It's a bond that no one should separate (Mark 10:6–9). But what happens when the embers grow dim and marriage feels mechanical? If you're honest, maybe you haven't left your marriage, but your body, mind, and spirit have begun to drift.
Living in the roommate phase spells danger. For one, adultery statistics are convicting. 20% of married men and 13% of married women admit to cheating, according to the General Social Survey. The reality is probably higher. Finding a healthy marriage model may be challenging when you look around. While divorce rates have decreased recently, so have marriage rates in the United States; one factor is the rise of cohabitation. Cohabitation is on the rise despite the finding that divorce is more common among couples who cohabitate before getting engaged. Finally, keep in mind that "low" divorce rates still mean approximately 40% of first marriages and 60% of second marriages end in divorce.
Culture often gets it wrong, but God doesn't. Jesus encourages us to build a house that's built on rock, not sand. That way, when the storms come—and there will be storms—we have a solid foundation and natural protection (Matt. 7:24–27). This reasoning applies to marriages. They need to be built on God's Word and tended wisely. Here are seven things you can do right away to protect your marriage and reinvigorate that spark. Good marriages, like faith, are worth fighting for.
1. Date—Regularly!
When is the last time you went on a date? And by date, I mean you made an effort to look your best and put some thoughtfulness into the event or evening. When dating, you likely did this out of excitement and without prompting. Now that you are married, your relationship is still worthy of your best effort, and showing it to your spouse is an act of love. Dates are meant to be fun, treasured time together. Flirting is allowed, but not family business. Don't let an already busy calendar rob you of this needed gift for reconnection. Regular dates aren't an additional thing to fit in if there's time—they are the lifeblood of your marriage. The Bible says that marriage is a covenant, and God's richest blessings come from covenants in scripture. Through marriage, God also gives us a glimpse into how Christ loves the church (Ephesians 5:25). The Bible reminds us that marriage deserves our very best.
To read more pointers, including those on fighting fair and intimacy, click here
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